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Conversation with a 4 yr old
Me: Where do you want to go tomorrow-The Tech Museum or the Bookstore?
Her: BOTH!!
Me: No, you can have 1 or the other.
Her: Ok then, ONE!
Me: Which one?
Her: The Tech Bookstore!
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Life of a Foster Parent: Saying Thank You for the Small things.
After getting two little newborn foster babies this past year, I realized that there’s really no time to always delve into a big story about being a foster parent when someone asks about the baby. So now I just say “thank you” and get little constant ego boosts when random people say how great I look for just having a baby.
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Life of a Foster Parent: Temporary mom brings on a lifetime of faith.
We’ve been parents to a boy (let’s call him Z) for a little over 9 months, taking him in when he was 3.5 weeks old. Taking him in our home and out of a stressful environment. Taking him in when his family could not provide a safe home for him at that time. Taking him in started our journey as foster parents.
We returned Z to his biological parents today. Over 9 months of being a parent to an extraordinary little boy has already given us a ton of joy and parental education to last a long time. For me it also woke up a tremendous faith I hope will be here for a lifetime.
There were so many times that Z was supposed to go back and leave our care. There were just as many times when those plans fell through (sometimes at the very last minute) and he remained with us. I wasn’t controlling the situation, so I just focused on having faith these past 9 months that he wouldn’t be put in a situation that wasn’t right for him. Time and time again he wasn’t put back so I just kept trusting that faith.
I know now that I can’t trust in that only when something goes my way. Giving him back breaks my heart. Hands down the toughest thing I ever had to do. But, I again focus on the faith I have that Z wouldn’t be put back in a bad situation. Just as with all the other times that I knew it was right when he stayed with us, I have to believe that it’s the right thing for him to go back to his parents. It’s not easy thinking or believing that, but it is comforting and helps me move forward having a faith and trust in something. I hope that comfort is with me for a long while.
My husband and I have done our job with Z and now we let him go with our love and prayers. Here are two I came across recently. Here are two I send to Z.May God give you…
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
— An Irish Prayer
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
— An old Irish blessing -
Life of a foster parent: a clean house = more hiding places
Being foster parents means we have a lot of visitors in our home - social workers, lawyers, friends, neighbors, etc. Since some of these visits are on very short (or no) notice, we really try to keep our home as clean as we can. I was doing laundry and found a stack of random things in my hamper - including books, magazines and mail (yikes- bills).
I realized that our version of “cleaning” on short notice sometimes means throwing things quickly into a really good (read: clever and awesome) hiding place.
I wonder if I can try to get the late fees on those bills waived…
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Life of a foster parent: a life full of “Instants”
Instant parenthood brings on so many other instants:
Instant Mac n Cheese
Instant waffles
Instant story teller
Instant light sleeper
Instant joy when baby smiles and laughs - even when it’s 3 am and you’re so so tired
Instant stress relief when kid hugs you and says she missed you all day
Instant extreme mood changes from said kid (too bad this also doesn’t come with instant patience…)
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Used my last band aid today so had to dip into the kids stash. #HelloKitty
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Lessons learned from an RV road trip with 3 dogs and 2 small kids
1. Make sure you have enough games to keep a 4 year old entertained. They may come in handy for the adults too.
2. Bring face wash in the form of wipes.
3. Don’t feed the baby carrots when moving, it will look like a murder scene after.
4. Baby wipes can be used for anything-from washing dog paws to putting temporary tattoos on to cleaning up a scene that looks like a murder happened (see above). Always bring a huge pack even if you don’t have a baby.
5. Even the most balanced person will have issues putting on underwear in a moving RV.
6. Do not put the dogs water bowl under the hanging outfits you brought for the special event you’re attending. They will fall into the water. Trust me.
7. Don’t bring golf clubs, play pen, or a work computer if you really have no intention of using them. They just take up valuable space.
8. That said, make sure you have a device to stream Netflix movies and shows.
9. Make bumping into something a game since everyone will do it many times and if it’s not a game, you’ll have a crying 4 year old (and sometimes a crying 34 year old) on your hands.
10. Realize that when your husband comes up to the RV yelling, “hey, everything ok in there?” it means he’s bringing a guest in and you better be decent.
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Life of a foster parent - smile & use inside voice
Baby’s birth parent to me: “Oh, you’re tired? Um, that comes with having an infant, ya know.”
Deep breath. Smile. Inside voice: Oh, thanks-it’s not like I didn’t know that-taking care of your kid for the last 5 months and all..
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This is the picture of the cute seals we saw this afternoon. The same ones that are barking at 2am. #NotSoCuteAnymore
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Book review: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
This book was so difficult for me to get into! With a new baby arriving in my home right after I started the book, I actually found myself with just no time (or energy) to sit and read. I gave up so many times but finally found a good block of time to dive in and get through the slow parts. Everyone said it was good and that the story picks up and boy did it! Once the characters and locations were established and built up, everything moved along faster.
I loved loved loved the Salander character and she made everyone else interesting when she was in the scene, so any part she was involved in had me hooked. Overall, the different components were really fascinating to me - solving a mystery, dealing with gore and insanity, and then having two unlikely companions form a close & unique relationship.
It’s a great read - just make sure you have the time (and patience) to get through the first half. The second half is worth it.
